new year's magic

2012 has been a helluva year for me.

• It has been simultaneously dull as rocks and life-alteringly thrilling. 
• It was the first full year of my adult life throughout which I remained officially single.
• It was the year I got my first tattoo and chopped my hair into a pixie and dyed it blonde. (I am now officially back to being a brunette, btw).
• It was the year I got to spend with my nephew, and I taught him about all the best parts of life (like licking the frosting off your birthday cake while everyone else is singing & the importance of overreacting to video games).
• It was the year I got to know myself and became comfortable with who I am.

I'd mostly given up on the tradition of New Year's resolutions; even the most solid of intentions seems to slip through the cracks in my resolve by mid-January, and I've found the annual repetition of that failure both disappointing and frustrating. "I'm going to change" has become a familiar refrain over the last few years, and my lack of progress towards that change is due solely to my own lack of discipline.

However - I've recently come to the realization that the failure is not in not reaching my goals, but in having no goals to reach. So what if they change? 

New Year's Eve is this beautiful in-between time, when it feels like anything is possible. Just like morning holds all the hope and promise of a new day, the few precious moments preceding and succeeding the stroke of midnight January 1 runneth over with almost tangible potential. It's why we make New Year's resolutions, why we feel compelled to keep them (for the first few days, at least) and why it feels like a fresh start, regardless of the fact that it's really just business as usual in the linear scheme of things. On one of the deepest, darkest, coldest nights of the year, New Year's Eve is the celebration of light and hope and the deep seated need we all have - the need to believe that we can change, to make ourselves better than we are.

My resolution this year is to be a better person. 

To try a little harder. 

To give more, expect less and always be there for the people I love. 

To be less angry and much more passionate. 

To achieve something of worth to myself, to hell with what anyone else thinks.

And to cross a few more answers off of 42.

What are your 2013 resolutions?

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it's in the details

Accessories are to me what certain scents are to others. They tell me stories; they captivate me, entice me, enthrall me, entertain me, intrigue me. The perfect accessory - be it a decadent cuff bracelet, a statement necklace, a gorgeous clutch, or anything else - can transform and define a look.

Big things are made up of little things; so are our daily outfits made up of various parts, pieced together to form one cohesive look. Little things, like jewelry and what bag you carry, may seem so insignificant when you're in a rush to get out the door, but they really do make a difference in how you look and feel and how you are perceived. It's attention to these details that will set us apart or confirm our status as member of the crowd. Where do you prefer to be?

Most mornings, I'm rushing out the door too, and don't have time to fuss over my accessories as much as I would like. As important as they are, they are not as important as my job, and I'm sure most of you are on the same page. So, the question becomes: How do we accessorize on the run?

I have a tendency to add and subtract my accessories sporadically throughout the day. I always carry my gold cuff, some friendship bracelets, my sunbeam necklace and a pair of earrings with me, because I know that any or all of them will match just about anything in my closet. Sometimes, it's not even about matching, but about balancing your look and anchoring it. For those of us who live life on the run, it's important to have a few key pieces (trendy, classic or both) like these that you can keep in your purse or on your make up counter for those days when you just don't have time to devote to details.

Some good investments:

• The gold goddess cuff. These are very in this season, and mine has hardly left my wrist, despite my former distate for bracelets. I've found that cuffs are the best wrist-wear for typing.
• The giant cocktail ring. These are great pieces for fidgety people like me - a big ring gives your fingers something to fiddle with without being too obvious about it.
• The statement necklace. Collars, tribal designs and Egyptian inspired pieces are very in this year.
• The metallic clutch. This piece will add instant glam and transform nearly any look from day to night with little to no effort.
• A leopard print skinny belt. Always classy and chic, leopard print has become a neutral - which means you can pair it with just about anything.
• And a stack of friendship and/or wrap bracelets. Perfect for adding to anything casual to give the look a summery, youthful vibe, or to anything glamorous when you're feeling contrary.

Some tips:

• One statement piece is enough. Don't overload on big jewelry.
• If you jingle when you move, take off at least one piece of jewelry.
• In fact, take off one piece before you leave the house anyway.
• Unless you're purposely mixing metals in the form of stacked bracelets or layered chain necklaces, stick to one metal/color family.
• Inspect jewelry before you purchase. I'm not opposed to buying inexpensive jewelry, but I am opposed to buying jewelry that looks cheap. Check for minor imperfections that could turn into big problems.
• Same goes for purses and shoes. If the item in question has any kind of hardware, embroidery or beading on it, check it for loose threads, missing beads or studs in danger of falling off.
• Your purse no longer has to match your belt and shoes, but it does need to not clash with your outfit. Pay attention to what you're wearing when you select your bag in the morning (or the night before).
• Speaking of belts - make sure yours fits in the right place, and that it's in good shape. A beat up or worn out belt just looks frumpy.

I'm not saying you should carry these items with you at all times (I do, but I'm OCD about things...), but I would suggest keeping them near the top of your jewelry box, and pull them out when you know you'll be heading to an event where you may need them. Without accessories, your little black dress is nothing more than some black fabric draped over your body, and your casual attire blends in a little too well. Accessories are what can make a t-shirt and jeans fabulous.

what we call little things are merely the causes of great things; they are the beginning, the embryo, and it is the point of departure which, generally speaking, decides the whole future of an existence.

-Henri Frederic Amiel

photo 1: vintage bangles (gift from my mom)
photo 2: gold cuff-charlotte russe (similar) / bangles-vintage
photo 3: blazer-forever 21 / purse-vintage / pumps-maurice's (similar) // the outfit post
photo 4: kardashian kollection studded wedges (similar)
photo 5: studded clutch via covet boutique (similar)
photo 6: twisted ring-forever 21 / mint nail polis-green w/envy by maybelline (similar) // the outfit post
photo 7: twisted ring-forever 21 / mint nail polis-green w/envy by maybelline (similar) // the outfit post
photo 8: wrist wrap-belt from threadsence.com
photo 9: gold cuff-charlotte russe (similar) / assorted friendship bracelets: maurice's, DIY // the outfit post

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sweet 'n rock :: how to style leather shorts

tips for rocking high waisted faux leather shorts:

1. If you're nervous about showing that much leg, layer some patterned tights underneath.
2. Add a splash or two of color, but don't overload on neons, else you risk looking very 90s (unless that's what you're going for).
3. Add one sweet detail (a straw purse, floral something, pastel colors) to keep the look from being too hard, and don't wear any other leather (you're not a Hell's Angel).
4. Wear flats, or opt for a wedge over a stiletto. The latter risks looking a bit trashy.
5. For shorter legs, avoid an ankle strap or caged top. This can cut off your silhouette and make your legs look stumpy.

I finally worked up the courage to wear my black faux leather shorts from H&M out of the house yesterday. My sister said I lacked color and looked very 90s, so I added the bright plaid shirt and removed the hot pink lipstick. Also applied some mint green nail polish in an attempt to springify this look. Maybe I should have thrown on a scrunchie instead.

I used to be very anti-high waisted anything - until I tried on these black leather shorts. I love how they provide the perfect hourglass shape, and this plaid shirt + gray tank are just the right amount of over size to counteract it. Conflicting silhouettes are among my favorite things recently.

Truthfully I'm having a love affair with anything contradictory lately; aside from mismatched shapes, in this case that means a sweet, country girl straw purse and ladylike necklace and matching stud earrings with a rocker-chic outfit and dominatrix heels. Potentially a result of the pent up anger and frustration, leaking out in random drops like the oil from my truck. Or maybe it's the fuck you bitches attitude I've always had, fighting its way to the surface after years of suppression. Regardless, this tragic romance can only end one way: epicly.

The blog has been a bit all over the map of late; a bit like my mind I suppose. Restlessness is creeping into me again, infiltrating my pieces. This is usually when things start to go hideously awry - when I remain still too long after this feeling takes hold. The Universe, telling me to getupgorungetthehellout because I'm too damn smart for this small town life I lead, and it (She? He?) knows I will never be happy here. Never be complete.

I'm just really good at faking it.

contentment is the enemy of invention.

-Pete Davis

puzzle pieces

bright plaid shirt :: maurice's | gray over size tank :: zara (similar here) | black lace bralette :: maurice's | black faux leather shorts :: h&m (similar here) | leopard skinny belt :: maurice's (similar here) | dotted tights :: h&m | wedges :: charlotte russe | straw purse :: vintage (similar here) | sunglasses :: charlotte russe | mesh chain necklace :: express (similar here) | stud earrings :: express | twisted ring w/rhinestones :: forever 21 | mint green nail polish :: green with envy by maybelline color show (read the review here; buy a similar color here)

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frayed armor

Wore this lovely tribal sundress and peachy pink blazer on Tuesday; originally paired the look with some flats but switched to the pumps about halfway through the day. The number of compliments I received seemed to increase dramatically with heel height. Upon review of the photographs, I must admit that I am pleased with the substitution. These pumps do kind of make my legs look incredible.

The notebook here photographed is my new fashion sketchpad; it contains randomly collected images and half-formed ideas from my brain, the pieces I've been searching for so desperately IRL but have been unable to find. One day, I'm going to make them. One day sooner, rather than later.

This is what's left behind when a perfectly nice girl decides to say fuck being perfectly nice and takes a moment to let out her inner free spirit. Just a moment spent reveling in the freedom of the cool grass beneath her bare feet and the soft wind tousling her hair; then it's back to being perfectly nice, a prison fortress made up of blazers and pumps and ladylike jewelry with insert-trend-here-inspired pieces.

Sometimes I just get so damn sick of it.

fashion is the armor, to survive 

the reality of everyday life.

-Bill Cunningham

That's all I have for you tonight, folks. I typically try to give you more, to impart some wisdom or knowledge, but tonight... tonight there are no spare pieces to give. If I keep going, we'll likely end up with another post like this one, and I'd rather not go there again.

I'm just so tired of tearing myself to shreds for people who only give a damn when it's convenient for them. Call me selfish, but I will not resubmit myself to a process that has repeatedly only left me broken, regardless of the circumstances or the situation or the cost. If the cost is this and the gain is me, well then I'd say I've more than broke even.

puzzle pieces

tribal sundress :: maurice's

pink blazer :: forever 21 (similar here)

nude pumps :: maurice's (similar here)

sunbeam necklace :: nasty gal (find it here)

gold cuff :: charlotte russe (similar here)

straw purse :: vintage (similar here)

the fashion sketchpad

once more unto the breach, dear friends.

3

My therapist is gonna have a field day with this one.

Boredom is the root of all evil - the despairing refusal to be oneself. 

-Soren Kierkegaard

I realize that I kinda fail at the blog thing. Well, the regularly updating of the blog, anyway. It's not that I've been busy... I've just been exhausted. I feel like all I do these days is work, watch TV and take care of my nephew. I'm starting to feel fat and lazy, and it's starting to irritate me.

But it's late; I have to work in the morning so I should probably get to bed. This is really just a "hi, I'm still alive and I'm okay" post.

I don't really want to sleep. I want to stay up and work. Achieve. Accomplish. There are few things in this world that are more satisfying to me than tangible signs of movement, progress. Like making things, checking things off a to do list, clearing space. Money doesn't seem to bring me that sense of satisfaction; however, buying things with it does.

I've started a new crafty DIY fashion/beauty/journal type project... photos forthcoming; it's a work in progress, but I'll definitely post some pictures and more details soon.

I've also set up a tumblr page. You can find it here: frayed-threads.tumblr.com. I'm still exploring the tumblr universe (and reminding myself to spell it without the e), but so far I'm liking it. Better than twitter even, I think.

Also spent some time trying to get my things a little more organized. Less clutter = less space, less time, less frustration because finding things is ever so much easier. I feel like trying to carve even a tiny niche for myself in this house is a constant battle. I'm hoping to have my bed cubby done soon; sleeping in my living room really sucks. (note: I call it my bed cubby because it barely fits a twin bed and a dresser... what am I going to do with all of my clothes?!)

I'm going to shoot to get up at 6am every weekday from now on; on weekends I'm aiming for 8am. It's really, really early... but I'm always so rushed for time in the mornings because I get up so late, and I always end up being late. I prefer having extra time when putting myself together in the morning; it makes me feel more prepared for the rest of the day. Given that it's now 2:20 in the a.m., I'm thinking it's going to be a struggle today, but I can do it.

I love my family (mostly), but they are so damn negative all the time. I don't even bother telling any of them about my out-there hopes and dreams (like one day being a big shot stylist or designer... le sigh) because I know they'll shoot them down, tell me not to get my hopes up, that I'll never make it. I can specifically remember my older brother telling me, when I was in junior high, that when I got to high school I'd realize that I was nobody, nothing, that I couldn't and wouldn't make a difference.

But I did. I worked my ass off, and while I may not have achieved world peace, I was editor of the school paper my senior year. I was told at least a hundred times that year and nearly as many since that was the best year the paper had had in ages, and it set the tone for some pretty great years after. I loved that paper with all of my heart and soul. I want to find something like it again; something that I'm deeply, passionately passionate about.

I've been told by several people who knew me when I was younger that it was my fire that attracted them to me; the passion I had that drove me into politics and activism, my burning need to change the world.

I don't have that fire any more. It went out, years ago, smothered by the people who were attracted to it the most. He sucked it out of me, with just a few words; a single, brutal email that completely and utterly destroyed the person I was.

I could have been a stronger person; but I wasn't, and he took advantage of that. I thought I'd moved on, but I'm beginning to think that maybe I'm still stuck there, in that one agonizing, suffocating moment; the moment when all my delusions of grandeur shattered and I realized with stark clarity that I was nothing more than an attention-seeking nobody.

But I'll get the fire back. I'll re-light the blaze and I shall go forth and motherfucking conquer because that's just what I do best. I will achieve; I will accomplish; I will succeed.

I can do it because they say I can't.

Today's List of Things I Will Accomplish:
1. Get up @ 6am.
2. Go to work. Be on time. Work hard.
3. Go to Journaling Group @5:30.
4. Work on Project.
5. Meditate & pray, morning & night.
6. Work on bed cubby.
7. Laundry.
8. Blog post.
9. Write.
10. Look incredible.

This post turned out a lot longer than I intended for it to be. My alarm will be going off in three hours. Should prolly get to bed now...

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