I haven't been feeling particularly inspired of late; I think it's at least partially due to the overabundance of clothing that is literally spilling out of my closet, drawers and baskets beneath my bed. My wardrobe is in pretty serious need of a purge, but I haven't been able to work up the motivation/energy to get it done. I have two three-day weekends in a row though - maybe after some time to relax, I will finally hop to it.
My short absence from the blog has been primarily due to this lack of inspired feeling. I had hoped that a creative break would allow me to regroup and recharge my imaginative batteries, but alas - I feel no such relief. I feel as though my life has settled into a bit of a rut, and I've been wracking my brain for ways out. I think this is my version of cabin fever, since I typically feel more peaceful during the winter, and spring causes me all sorts of anxiety.
I would love to take a vacation, to go somewhere I've never been, but that would require a bit of time and saving. In the meantime, I need a more short-term, immediate fix for the pricking at my spirit I'm feeling. The insomnia, restlessness, ADD, itchiness - all symptoms that cause me greater problems. The fact that I am up and typing this entry at 5am is an example of such.
Looking over my 25 before 26 list, I'm not sure whether I feel inspired by my progress in the last week, or overwhelmed with what I have left. It's really not a complicated list, since I 'optimized' it; I suppose I've been living in neutral for so long now that shifting into drive and actually getting things done on a personal level feels a bit intimidating. I've checked off four things from list in just a week (two of them biggies), but I still have 18 to go before next Saturday. I can do it - I just have to push myself a bit harder than I have been.
I realize this post is coming off as a bit of a Debbie Downer, but honestly, life isn't all cupcakes and rainbows. I have been working really hard lately, and making a great deal of progress because of it. I'm beginning to see the results of those actions, and it makes me want to work harder. I think my frustrations primarily stem from not really knowing what exactly to do to keep moving forward, from wasting so much of my life screwing around, and from not being able to devote my life and all of my time to my work. While I do enjoy my job and love my co-workers, it's not my dream - and I don't want to spend my life working for someone else's dream. I am so tired of being told that I can't/won't/will never achieve the things I want, and I am so ready to start making people eat their words. I feel like I've finally started on that path, and I'm afraid of screwing it up (again), but I also know that I have to keep going, to keep pushing myself, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, because that's the only way to get anywhere in life. I have to keep moving.
The plan for this weekend:
-Cross a few more things off of my list.
-Implement a few of the planned additions/changes to the blog.
-Take some time to meditate and relax.
-Start on my closet purge.
-Achieve a goal.
I picked up this skirt and blouse on my birthday shopping trip this week. I was supposed to go to SLC next week with my mom but... it fell through. Long story. So I took myself to the local Maurice's and blew way more than I should have to cheer myself up. Shopping provides a (very) temporary cure for my frustrations. I love putting together outfits, even if it's solely for dressing room pleasure. The recent release of Instagram for Android makes it even more fun. I have a therapist - his name is retail.
black shirt: maurice's
white floral skirt: maurice's (similar item here)
black chunky heels: kork-ease
necklace: forever 21
hat: maurice's (similar item here)
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