the kerosene's run out

[the pieces]

gray oversize tank :: zara (similar here) | pink lace cami :: maurice's | black maxi skirt :: lammix (get it here) | sandals :: kork-ease (similar here) | messenger bag :: ebay (try this hot pink version) | gold cuff :: charlotte russe (similar here) | bangles :: vintage | sunbeam necklace :: nasty gal (find it here) | wooden turtle necklace :: gift | feather earrings :: maurice's | sunglasses :: charlotte russe | mint nail polish :: green w/envy by maybelline (get a similar color here)

[the inspiration]

This outfit was somewhat inspired by a post from Saucy Glossie, but unfortunately I can't find the original post. Regardless, you should hop on over and take a gander at her lovely blog.

The wooden turtle necklace was a gift from one of my drivers at work; he just returned from vacation in Hawaii and brought it back for me, since he wouldn't have gone if I hadn't talked him into it. Traditional style wisdom would probably have dictated the removal of one of the necklaces, but we all know I'm anything but traditional when it comes to my style.

[the story]
Feeling a bit disenchanted with the blogging world recently; it seems as though we're all so caught up in publishing, promoting and perfecting our own blogs that we hardly have time to socialize on others. I can't remember the last time I actually made it all the way through my blog roll - or even just through my favorites. I've been a part of the blogging community since its inception (I had a blog in the eleventh grade, long before it was cool - back when we had to code everything by hand and there were no fancy post editors), and while I'm thrilled at its growth, I feel that this growth has turned into a double edged sword.

Blogging used to be a way to reach out, to connect with like minds and make connections that let us know that we weren't alone. Now it seems that there are so many voices crying out desperately for attention that we're even more alone than we ever were before.

Blogging started as a medium to express unique points of view and to represent different walks of life; it was a way to make life real, by showing how it was lived by real people. With the rise of commercialism in blogs, however, it seems to me that most of the exclusively successful blogs are just profiles in the same stereotypes and fantasies of perfect bodies and perfect lives that don't fucking exist, and that blogging was created to escape.

This is not to say that every single successful blog is utterly useless (though there are a fair amount that I feel that way about) or that every successful blog meets the criteria of perfect body/perfect life/perfect spouse/perfect hair; I am saying that many of the popular blogs that fall within this make-believe perfection are boring, overrated, and sado-masochistic.

perfection is a beautiful fairy tale that will always leave you hating yourself.

I feel like many blogs, particularly of the style/fashion nature, have a tendency to gloss over the grittier aspects of life in favor of the light and fluffy bunny approach that makes their lives look so damned perfect. Sometimes I wonder if even the blogger is an active participant in this techno-denial. It seems that few ever write with any emotion other than intense enthusiasm, and that to me is sickeningly fake.

Maybe I'm just frustrated because I'm having such a difficult time finding my "blogging voice". Sometimes I feel as though I nail it... other times I just feel like a watered down, over enthusiastic version of myself. I've always had trouble finding direction, and I feel like this blog is a prime example of that. I'm tired of researching how to be a successful blogger; I'm tired of words like niche and voice and following. I'm sick of being wary of public exposure of my personal life. I'm done adhering to a formula, just because it worked for someone else.

this is meant to be art, not science, 

and I'll reinvent the damn wheel if I want to.

Though I think I'll just go to bed for now.

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frayed armor

Wore this lovely tribal sundress and peachy pink blazer on Tuesday; originally paired the look with some flats but switched to the pumps about halfway through the day. The number of compliments I received seemed to increase dramatically with heel height. Upon review of the photographs, I must admit that I am pleased with the substitution. These pumps do kind of make my legs look incredible.

The notebook here photographed is my new fashion sketchpad; it contains randomly collected images and half-formed ideas from my brain, the pieces I've been searching for so desperately IRL but have been unable to find. One day, I'm going to make them. One day sooner, rather than later.

This is what's left behind when a perfectly nice girl decides to say fuck being perfectly nice and takes a moment to let out her inner free spirit. Just a moment spent reveling in the freedom of the cool grass beneath her bare feet and the soft wind tousling her hair; then it's back to being perfectly nice, a prison fortress made up of blazers and pumps and ladylike jewelry with insert-trend-here-inspired pieces.

Sometimes I just get so damn sick of it.

fashion is the armor, to survive 

the reality of everyday life.

-Bill Cunningham

That's all I have for you tonight, folks. I typically try to give you more, to impart some wisdom or knowledge, but tonight... tonight there are no spare pieces to give. If I keep going, we'll likely end up with another post like this one, and I'd rather not go there again.

I'm just so tired of tearing myself to shreds for people who only give a damn when it's convenient for them. Call me selfish, but I will not resubmit myself to a process that has repeatedly only left me broken, regardless of the circumstances or the situation or the cost. If the cost is this and the gain is me, well then I'd say I've more than broke even.

puzzle pieces

tribal sundress :: maurice's

pink blazer :: forever 21 (similar here)

nude pumps :: maurice's (similar here)

sunbeam necklace :: nasty gal (find it here)

gold cuff :: charlotte russe (similar here)

straw purse :: vintage (similar here)

the fashion sketchpad

once more unto the breach, dear friends.

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designing myself

Happy weekend, blog world! I was fortunate enough to have an early start to mine - my lovely employer gave us Good Friday off. I don't even know what Good Friday is, aside from that it's the Friday before Easter. And I think it has something to do with Passover, though I don't know what that is either.

I haven't been feeling particularly inspired of late; I think it's at least partially due to the overabundance of clothing that is literally spilling out of my closet, drawers and baskets beneath my bed. My wardrobe is in pretty serious need of a purge, but I haven't been able to work up the motivation/energy to get it done. I have two three-day weekends in a row though - maybe after some time to relax, I will finally hop to it.

My short absence from the blog has been primarily due to this lack of inspired feeling. I had hoped that a creative break would allow me to regroup and recharge my imaginative batteries, but alas - I feel no such relief. I feel as though my life has settled into a bit of a rut, and I've been wracking my brain for ways out. I think this is my version of cabin fever, since I typically feel more peaceful during the winter, and spring causes me all sorts of anxiety.

I would love to take a vacation, to go somewhere I've never been, but that would require a bit of time and saving. In the meantime, I need a more short-term, immediate fix for the pricking at my spirit I'm feeling. The insomnia, restlessness, ADD, itchiness - all symptoms that cause me greater problems. The fact that I am up and typing this entry at 5am is an example of such.

Looking over my 25 before 26 list, I'm not sure whether I feel inspired by my progress in the last week, or overwhelmed with what I have left. It's really not a complicated list, since I 'optimized' it; I suppose I've been living in neutral for so long now that shifting into drive and actually getting things done on a personal level feels a bit intimidating. I've checked off four things from list in just a week (two of them biggies), but I still have 18 to go before next Saturday. I can do it - I just have to push myself a bit harder than I have been.

I realize this post is coming off as a bit of a Debbie Downer, but honestly, life isn't all cupcakes and rainbows. I have been working really hard lately, and making a great deal of progress because of it. I'm beginning to see the results of those actions, and it makes me want to work harder. I think my frustrations primarily stem from not really knowing what exactly to do to keep moving forward, from wasting so much of my life screwing around, and from not being able to devote my life and all of my time to my work. While I do enjoy my job and love my co-workers, it's not my dream - and I don't want to spend my life working for someone else's dream. I am so tired of being told that I can't/won't/will never achieve the things I want, and I am so ready to start making people eat their words. I feel like I've finally started on that path, and I'm afraid of screwing it up (again), but I also know that I have to keep going, to keep pushing myself, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, because that's the only way to get anywhere in life. I have to keep moving.

The plan for this weekend:
-Cross a few more things off of my list.
-Implement a few of the planned additions/changes to the blog.
-Take some time to meditate and relax.
-Start on my closet purge.
-Achieve a goal.
-Impress/inspire myself.

I picked up this skirt and blouse on my birthday shopping trip this week. I was supposed to go to SLC next week with my mom but... it fell through. Long story. So I took myself to the local Maurice's and blew way more than I should have to cheer myself up. Shopping provides a (very) temporary cure for my frustrations. I love putting together outfits, even if it's solely for dressing room pleasure. The recent release of Instagram for Android makes it even more fun. I have a therapist - his name is retail.

blazer: Zara

black shirt: maurice's

white floral skirt: maurice's (similar item here)

black chunky heels: kork-ease

necklace: forever 21

hat: maurice's (similar item here)

Are you on Instagram yet? Let's be friends! 

My username is frayedthreads - leave a comment with yours.

have you entered my birthday giveaway? 

We just hit 40 individual entries, unlocking the first bonus prize! Think we can make the second? We need 106 entries - tell your friends, your neighbors, everyone! The deadline is 12:01am on 4/16, so make it quick!

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studded fantasies

The wonderful, kind, amazing FedEx driver delivered my Zara package to my office yesterday. This blue plastic wrapped cardboard box contained the single most expensive item of clothing I have ever purchased: the Zara Studded Fantasy Fabric Blazer.

My justification at that point was that I was getting it as an early birthday present to myself, though I regretted the action almost immediately upon pressing "Confirm" on the Zara website. At that point I had to wait it out - if I wasn't as in love with the blazer in person as I was on the website, I would just have to return it.

So it was with some trepidation that I pulled the plastic from the box yesterday and carefully unwrapped the enclosed items from the tissue paper; all sorts of anxieties were bouncing around in my mind: size and fit questions, worries about the fabric and texture, and (mostly) uneasiness about the cost of the order (which shall remain unspoken, but the oversize tank I purchased was one-tenth the price of the blazer). As excited as I was to receive the package, I was almost too afraid to open it - I was so in love with the fantasy blazer I had seen on the website and I was terrified reality wouldn't translate into what I had pictured in my imagination. I was afraid of being disappointed (again).

You see, to me, disappointment is heartbreaking. It is destructive. It is shattered dreams and broken hope. Call me dramatic, call me a shopaholic, call me obsessed, accuse me of taking it too seriously - whatever. It's all true. I take my wardrobe very seriously. These are the pieces that describe me to the world, that tell my story without ever saying a word. These are what make a first impression. These are my art.

Not every piece is a work of art in and of itself - nor should every piece be so. The art forms when the pieces are put together; like paints on a canvas, they are not complete without each other. It is vitally important that each color be mixed perfectly, be placed aptly, and within the right context, in order to achieve a work of art rather than simply an outfit.

The more I learn about fashion and style, the more I begin to realize that this artform really is an art, as much as painting or drawing or writing or architecture. There is no science to style, no exact formula for achieving it nor established criteria for determining whether one has it; only one's sense of self and imagination and the hope for the best.

I truly believe that the way we dress reflects the way we feel about ourselves.

It may be subconscious, it may be deliberate; it could be somewhere in between.

Style is the ultimate form of self-reflection.

But back to the story.

As soon as my hands grasped the fabric of the blazer, my fears evaporated; I gently pulled it from the wrapping and looking at it, holding it, feeling it, was like first love all over again... only without the painful heartbreak at the end. This is a piece that will never, ever betray me.

The studs of various sizes that run along the collar and faux pockets are a matte, almost burnished, silver; the black fabric seems to be a mix of boucle and frayed tweed and seems heavy at first glance, but upon inspection is actually rather thin and thus perfect for both summer and winter. The strong shoulders feel like armor against the weight of the world, while the frayed hems and seams are the perfect imperfection - just enough muss to keep the blazer from being too stuffy. The texture of the jacket and cut of the neck and shoulders is certainly reminiscent of the famous Chanel jackets, but the Zara version has a longer length and more boyfriend like fit than Coco's classic cut. This is an impeccably balanced blazer: enough polish and charm to establish it's position as a classic, yet a roughness to it that reminds us of its bad assery.

I mentioned the heather gray oversize tank I purchased to go with it, though upon close inspection I am finding this blazer is a source of continual inspiration that will likely be matched with nearly everything I own throughout the summer. Despite it's uniqueness (or perhaps because of it), it seems to be the most versatile garment I own.

It is important to note that (in my experience, at least) Zara sizes seem to run a bit small. I typically wear a small or medium, but wear a medium or large in Zara clothing. Even the shoes seem to run on the small (narrow) side. I chose to go with a large for this blazer, and I am very happy with that decision.

Today I paired with with the oversize tank, a pair of denim flares and my Kork-Ease sandals that I received gift (see a close up + a review further down in this post). I'm thinking a remix of this combination will likely become my spring/summer uniform, while I have a number of skirts, dresses and shorts (pencil, mini and leather, specifically) that will do quite nicely for dressing it up for any occasion that may arise. I may do some experimenting this weekend; I will be sure to share any photos that result.

This blazer absolutely lives up to it's name - it is the utter fulfillment of my fantasy, the perfect piece to add to my collection of cherished and beloved pieces. I may have what seems like an infinite wardrobe, but my collection is quite small. My collection is the art; it is what I am focused on growing, now that I am older and I understand the difference. Expect a closet purge very, very soon.

It was rainy and breezy as I stepped outside for a self-portrait session; the drops fell in an intermittently steady drizzle as I timed and snapped these photos in our bathroom garden (the whole concept still somewhat confounds me, and yet I love it). There was a hint of chill in the air, but it was faint, haunting - only the ghost of winter remains here, it seems. The blossoms are just blooming on our plum tree - tiny white flowers surrounded by tiny green leaves on still gray branches, silhouetted by a stone sky. This is my favorite kind of spring weather.

These leather studded sandals are a very close second for my favorite summer staple. I snagged these beauties as a free reward, and I adore them. It took a couple of weeks for them to arrive, but they are so comfy (the insoles are actually padded enough that I can push it down!) and classy that I am completely willing to overlook the lengthy shipping time (especially since they were free). The chunky wooden heel is the perfect height for both casual and work wear and the crisscross leather front keeps things looking sleek while the studs add some edge to the overall look. Definitely the perfect addition to my summertime shoe collection.

Sigh. At least I can say my family is unique in their sense of aesthetics.

[blazer: Zara Studded Fantasy Fabric Blazer; tank: Zara (similar item here); jeans: Refuge Denim (similar item here); shoes: Kork Ease; layered chain necklace: Sears (similar item here); moccasin necklace: vintage; nail polish: Sally Hansen Insta-Dri in Snappy Sorbet (orange) and Flashy Fuchsia (pink)]

Tell me about your most decadent buy - was it worth what you spent? And what do you think of my new Zara blazer? Any suggestions for styling it? Do you have any questions about my make up? 

Or maybe some there are some embarrassing yet kinda cool family secrets hiding in your backyard that you'd like to share? 

Spill your thoughts or questions in the comments!

13

style haiku

I decided to keep things basic today, with a simple combo of blazer, jeans, a white tank and leopard pumps; I added a hot pink lip gloss as part of IFB's Weekly Project #40: Go Bright or Go Home. Tomorrow I plan to brave a red, and I will submit the more flattering one for the project. If you'd like to participate, make sure you submit your link by 12am Wednesday by clicking here.

I love how my lip color matches the pink in my earrings and scarf. That was completely by accident.

Despite this look's simplicity, I decided it deserved a full outfit post. I've mentioned before that I feel sometimes we style bloggers get so wrapped up in constantly being on top of and ahead of the latest and greatest trends, colors, prints, etc, that we forget that true style is the embodiment of simplicity, creativity, elegance, confidence and love.

This isn't to say we shouldn't be creative with our daily outfits; on the contrary, I find the incredible ensembles many of my co-bloggers put together on a regular basis to be rather extraordinary works of art. What I am saying, though, is that not every woman can pull off wearing twelve prints at once, and sometimes a blazer and jeans can be just as lovely and speak to us in as many ways as the most inventive outfit.

Haiku can be just as powerful and beautiful as any Greek tragedy or Roman myth.

 It's all in the presentation.

I'm pretty sure this basic combination is going to become my new uniform for spring and summer. I have a rather intense obsession with blazers and have a pretty decent collection, though I don't wear them very often. I plan to add quite a few to my repertoire (something with cool detailing, a white tuxedo, a hot pink statement piece, cobalt blue BF cut, Chanel inspired, sleeveless tux, duster length, something cropped, a military cut, to name just a few) and wear them with everything this season - sleeves cuffed, of course. I get serious sleeve anxiety.

Definition: Sleeve Anxiety - 1. the constant urge to fiddle with one's sleeves, usually due to one being uncomfortable with the length, fit or fabric; 2. the intense need to have one's sleeves pulled over one's hands, cuffed to the elbow or non-existent past the shoulder.

The weather seemed rather indecisive today; it was raining pretty hard when I left for work, but by mid-morning it had let up into an intermittent drizzle with large patches of bright blue sky in between. By the time I left work, the rain had dried up, though there were still some grey swatches in the sky. It wasn't quite chilly enough for a coat, but not quite warm enough to be outside for an extended period of time without one.

One day my sister will learn to be mindful of the background in photos. One day. #thingsBatmantaughtme

My nephew came out with us for these photos (perfect ammunition for creating genuine smiles, btw) - my favorite part of the entire photo shoot was when he ran into my outstretched arms, I swept him up and he gave me this incredible hug (twice!). I love that when he gives me a hug, he always pats me on the back like he's comforting me.

When we were done he really didn't want to go back inside. I picked up his windbreaker and we headed to the backyard where his favorite outdoor toys are located (his Flintstones type car and the play set I got for my 6th birthday). The play set we have includes a slide, swingset and tower, though the slide is by far his favorite. He refuses to swing unless I sit in the swing and hold him in my lap (which, given that my hips are a bit wider than they were as a kid, gets pretty uncomfortable after a few minutes), and since he's only two I'd rather he not play in the tower quite yet, so he's mostly confined to the slide and his other toys.

He doesn't mind though - I'm pretty sure he could entertain himself for an entire weekend just running between the slide, his small Fisher Price house and toy car. Sometimes I envy him; that child is the absolute light of my life. I know he's not my son - but I would do anything for him.

I typically wear higher heels with these pants (I swear I picked up a regular length...), but I was fixated on these leopard pumps today. They are the only pointy-toed shoes I have ever tried on and liked - my size 9.5 feet generally deter me from wearing shoes with points, but these leopard beauties have the right amount of angle to achieve the look without entering Wicked Witch of the West territory.

Style Tip: Pointy shoes are very on point this season, but they can make your feet look bigger by adding space to the front of the shoe that your foot doesn't (can't) occupy. This isn't too noticeable on a size 6, but is painfully obvious on a size 9 and above. For those of us ladies with larger feet, I would recommend avoiding extremely pointed shoes and opt instead for a mildly pointed (seen below and here), almond or round toe.

wardrobe

[trench: maurices (similar item here); blazer: charlotte russe (similar item here); white tank: charlotte russe (similar item here); earrings: charlotte russe; scarf, cuff, ring: forever 21; layered chain necklace: sears (sorry, don't remember the brand); moccasin necklace: gift from Grandmother; jeans: ReRock by Express (check 'em out here); leopard pumps: Express (similar item here)]

The lip gloss I used was a hot pink from a giant Sephora palette that is no longer available. Email me or comment and let me know if you're interested in finding a similar color (or if you have questions about any of my make up) and I'd be happy to offer some suggestions!

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